Yesterday I was laughing at her....
And today I'm going Arg!!! at her! Yes, Anna. She's a wonderful friend and I love her to pieces. She's very very giving, but the problem is if you try to reciprocate, she doesn't like it. She's paid for soooo many things for me in the last few years, and today we were talking about going somewhere and I said I would pay for her and she said no. Arg! I work (and I make just about the same as she does!). It's not going to kill me to pay for her sometimes. Or to buy her a Christmas gift or remember her birthday. And she always complains when I do, even though she always remembers my birthday and Christmas. I don't understand why she does that, but I know it annoyed the heck out of me today when she said no! Any thoughts?
posted by paculina @ 8:52 PM
3 Comments:
I don't think this is an issue of who can afford what. Laurel sometimes we focus on the "giving" and it usually comes from our childhood in how our parents taught us. Unfortunately, we aren't taught the joys of "receiving". It can be very difficult for some people to accept gifts, etc from other people yet they are very comfortable and happy to give to others. Maybe you need to sit down with your dear friend and just remind her that because she is so special to you that you would like to experience of joy of giving to her!!! She may not realize that it hurts your feelings and frustrates you.
Sandy
Do you think maybe it's because she's so aware of your financial situation with you trying to move out, etc? If that's the case then maybe there are things that you can do for her that don't cost money. Of course I may be totally off base and it may be more what Sandy is saying.
I would do things for her that don't cost much money. It seems she may be trying to help out as she knows you want to save up to move out,etc.
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